[03 Jan 2008]

 In San Luis Obispo there must have been too much food.
I ate like it was a birthday but everyone stayed the same age.
We let the elephant seals prosper, they were our spirit animals.
The men seals roared in defiance, protected their lubricated loves.
The women seals nuzzled with the fresh salt of the infants,
the babies slept the tender dream sleep of the first morning.

I crept to your bed in the night and forecasted my doom
where we would explode perhaps too soon but the bang is loud all the same.

Now I have had enough, enough of something
and there are days of starving ahead, starving and San Francisco rain.

You stand up on the toilet seat careful not to fall
you are in the library peering out to the overgrown courtyard
you are dreaming of planting ceiba trees there,
you have only four years left some say.

In San Francisco you are a ghost with large pockets
staring at the stars as though they were free cable,
you do this and you do that
and just like so
the time gets up
and it must go.

In the library courtyard you practice your Brazillian moves
and on the other side of the mason's wall, someone mows grass.


If you listen closely enough
you swear you can hear the leaves screaming.

It must be terrifying to be a piece of grass in San Francisco.

You think these things and you think those things
and you do this and you walk miles to do that
and just like so, the time gets up
gets up to go.

You are everywhere and nowhere every day and never.
Where is your lover or your friend, your mother or your father?
What are the babies eating in Africa as the crippled man stoops?
How will the white tailed deer survive as the chain saws
complete their sordid pine tree blood bath missions?
You are everywhere and nowhere every day and never.
Your center cannot hold, you are an eye.
Your movements terrify the meteorologists, the chickens squawk
in pain, the weathervane considers the life of a hobo.

You are everywhere and nowhere every day and never,
you wonder where you will sleep even as you are snoring.
You wonder this and you wonder that
and just like that, the time sprouts wings
to fly like so.

 

© Copyright 2007 Dennis Ray Powell, Jr.  All Rights Reserved

 

 

thinking of Sentimental Sharks [04 Jan 2008]

 

 you stand in lines waiting for head eruptions
or at least a leaking of your soul,
your soul, though, (the truth of it)
is a natural gas
and there are bic lighters loose!

so go ahead and pray for explosions
because i am going home for Christmas,
a cattle driver of wastebasket heartthrobs am i,
a roaring river flowing though silver lands of the deaf.

and there is she in some sick night dream,
what would cause my flying mind to quake?
is it the incessant porn of the freight trains?
the nonstop firewood to be gathered to my crackling crotch?
i wait, too, for souls and heads to explode
and for god to interrupt the movements of train stations.

PART TWO.

music is a corral
for the wild horse poetry, i believe
since poetry roams the high plains Everywhere,
for every man hears the thundering
of the hoofbeats of the words
that the heart might speak...

for every woman hears the thundering
of the hoofbeats of the words
that the heart might speak...


so the novel is the microscope
that peers at the cellular adventure of the poem

and i am the Scientist!
the plucker of hidden juicebox heartstrings!
the silky tonged shaman of the Steppes,

for poetry is the heart beat
and music is the holy spirit humming in a stethescope
and the novel is the homeless dreamer
falling through trap doors in the sidewalk...

the poet is a joke machine
wearing robes of black and white
and she rolls in rainbowed meadows
keeping harmony in sight...



POME 3.

What is a greyhound station made of?
i mean, what ghosts drop quarters
into these lonely video games here?

and why do i care of how the without
would describe my flowery within?

the greyhound station, always hungry and gone.
you could fly a kite on the sighs.
raise a flag on the moans.
raise a family on the groans.

build a castle of the poems with no ink.

muttering complaints tell the stories
of the dead gone river gods,
those gods that washed away
to become bottled mineral water on Santa Monica Boulevard.

No heart became deeper here, only wrinkles,
the armed security guards draw cartoons,
confiscate stolen sleep.

everyone just got out of prison,
they're all going back tomorrow.

there are ragged tents in the bathrooms,
young sailors are going home
while dreaming clean dreams...

END OF POMES.

(quote by Gary Snyder...)
"I'd emphasize again the importance of a sense of community, a need for the poet to identify with real people, not a faceless audience. There should be less concern with publishing, more with reading. A reading is a kind of communion. I think the poet articulates the semi-known for the tribe. This is close to the ancient function of the shaman.

It's not a dead function. The poet needs a long view. He can't just plan in terms of poems to be done immediately. He may be eighty years old before he's ready to do his masterwork. The creative imagination doesn't stop growing like the body. It keeps growing and getting ready to strike deeper into the basic relationships between the personal perception, the social ritual movements, and nature. Poetry is a life's work."--Gary Snyder

 

 

© Copyright 2007 Dennis Ray Powell, Jr.  All Rights Reserved

 

 

[04 Jan 2008]

the rain is my little wigwam.
i smoke the night away, i have no cigarettes.
the homeless man asks me for change,
i push a banana toward him.

he declines because the raindrops are like liquid marbles
our faces are made of jacks, our faces scatter like hope
but the child in the sky gathers them up again,
the homeless man has one opaque eyeball,

he stares at me through it and declines the banana,
my lord, i need a pen, my lord
hustle me down to the village where tired bones
yelp out satisfaction at the dry love in the eves
where the hats are all warm and silk lined,
i swallow mexico, i do not spit
i recollect the national geographic pictures
and gather up the jacks.

the rain is my convalescent home.
it showers me with memories of storms before,
i fight off the cold like a punch drunk boxer,
the afternoon approaches penniless
and the sun dials collect.

 

 

© Copyright 2007 Dennis Ray Powell, Jr.  All Rights Reserved

 

 

[02 Jan 2008]

 In Salinas I thought of Steinbeck. Walked around and imagined him pensive and alone. It was the last day of the year. That night I slept in a field of lettuce yet to sprout. The ground was fertile, perhaps fake but fertile. My hand froze in the night, I awoke and clenched and unclenched. It came back. On the Eve i spoke to a few friends via telephone just to say hi. Maybe I was lonely. Just asserting my existence in the lettuce patch. And the next day I met two paisanos, one struggling to limp up the street by the railroad track. He asked me for a quarter and was wearing a crucifix pinned to his dirty t-shirt. He was old and tired, wheezing like a bellows. I gave him a quarter and showed him my Jesus in the medicine pouch. We tried without success to communicate but then he simply said, "okay, okay..."
And walked off.
Caught a ride to San Francisco with an old cyclist. He gave me a ride I suppose because I was wearing a USCF badge on my shirt sleeve. Told me he was a Level 3. I said, "huh?" He explained the levels of cycling and smiled when I told him I had just started to love my bike. "It's addictive, huh?"
Then in San Francisco, the walking and the walking and the people telling me where to go, giving me directions, asking for quarters, being hungry and sick. I watched a man hop up the BART steps on one leg. All of the jingling cups, all of the silent cups.

The little styrofoam cups in lieu of bank accounts. Dry and ready to crack, creases in the coffee stained white tableau. That is the bank account of the homeless. And all of us health nuts walking to the gym or to the grocery store to buy organic garlic. I guess it's just the way it is. I wonder what to do when there isn't even a quarter in my pocket and I know I only have seven dollars to eat on for the next few days. Sure and certainly my vagrancy is a chosen but I feel the burn in my belly all the same when there is nothing to eat. I choose hunger and alone and when I've had my fill of it I go back to the warmth and the love and why does one keep doing this thing? Where is the value in this existence, or rather, what is the aim?

A life without aim or method is a confusing, swirling, troubling thing. As I walked down the street, down Geary toward the Ave's I was thinking of the tiny little library that is always filled with Asian people, beautiful and quiet and silently typing away on their matching laptops. With their beautiful children making loud footsteps to their startled dismay and all of the meditative "shhhh"'s of this way of living and reading.

On Geary I noticed the smell of fresh bread in the middle of the night and swooned. My head was spinning and my legs were lame. I noticed the mexican bakery with carts of fresh bread and pastries pushed out through the loading dock, thick leaves of plastic draped over them to keep the cold air out. A few of the pastries and loaves were in hands reach and I stood close thinking about snatching one up. Then I saw a matronly Asian walk toward me on the sidewalk in the glown darkness. She poked her head in through the loading dock leaves of plastic and spoke abruptly but gently. Her call was heeded. I watched her walk down the street with a bag filled with tiny rolls in her hand, fresh as sunflowers. So I dug into my pocket, pulled out a one and stuck my head through also. A mexican man with sinewy arms flexed and worked, moving sheet to cart, sheet to cart, and everything so fresh in my nose...

I showed him the dollar silently when he noticed me. He wordlessly nodded, grabbed a plastic bakery sack and asked, "pastries?" I nodded at his assumption in hunger and he threw in two giant croissants. One baked with a fried egg and cheese in it and the other more of a dessert, creme cheese with almonds.

So in San Francisco, somewhere on Anza street behind the meditative library of asians some high class hobo eats croissants and dreams of home, wherever the hell that might be...

 

 

© Copyright 2007 Dennis Ray Powell, Jr.  All Rights Reserved

 

 

Sunday. Part One. [22 July 2003]
More and more, I feel this great influx of personalities into my life. I feel a tremendous kinship to a pneumatic anything. I am covered with large breathing pores that allow the world in and all of its billionfold voices to breathe sensuously into my ear. It's so nice lately. Sunday morning I wake up at someone's house. This someone is named Ian and when I open my eyes atop his couch, I see a cell phone on a foot stool. Pick up the cell phone immediately and without thought call my family in Texas because I just love them so much and want to hear their life. My Mother picks up and says, "Hello?" I say back to her--Hello! This is me! Your son!--She was very happy and talking for a long time about how much better she feels lately. She made insinuations concerning the voluptuous dynamic return of her sexuality. My Mom told me that my Dad is tired. The whiskered man cannot keep her pace. I spoke also to my little sister Tana and to my beat Dad and when I finished talking to him, he said " I love you, son." It was nice and I felt practical and warm. Practical--if you know what I mean. I felt natural and right. Tana told me that my Dad said something about her becoming a Playboy Playmate and I thought this was slightly odd, but funny nevertheless. I asked Dad(dy) about it and he hollered to Tana, "hey! are you still gonna be in Playboy?" Tana is fifteen. Weird, but sweet. My Mom told me that the essence to this story lies in Tana spending hours in front of a mirror inspecting her newly sprung assets admiringly. She told my Dad she thought she could be in Playboy and he let her live it up. I don't know if I could be that laid back with a daughter. Finally, the battery went out. I felt so terrible then considering the fact that I had not even asked to use the phone. I felt a surge of relief in realizing that the day was Sunday, a member of the noble WeekEndDays. Ian is an alcoholic whom woke up mentioning in a sandpaper honed voice that he needed to "clear out that stale liquor taste" in his mouth by having a drink of whiskey. Or two. That guy was making me laugh and laugh and I was wearing one of his tee-shirts. I don't know what happened to mine. Meredith says that I became belligerent and so took it off. I ran all over the streets and almost became arrested, a bare-chested maniac. I remember it in the same way that one remembers a dream. Mostly aquatic memories like watching otters swim. I told him that I wanted to walk downtown to look and talk at people for awhile and he said OKAY and His room was like a hamster cage in too many ways to mention. We walked down the way for a bit and then I saw a man sitting on a hilly front yard. There was a basketball goal and I shouted at him wondering if he had a basketball. He silently stood up and disappeared into a small nook beneathe a vehicle storing canopy area and in the same fashion reappeared with a basketball in his hand. He tossed it to me and I was incredibly happy then, my smile felt so big and painful. I looked down just then and saw my shadow on the pavement and my hair was sticking up in involuntary spikes in each and every direction that an entity could possibly fathom. I was proud of my hair and proud of my borrowed basketball and proud of my life. I almost threw up. The dribbling began and I tossed up numerous shots to no good avail, clangety clang clang bang all around. After a few preliminary shots, though, the magic returned to my eagle eyes and fingertips and the three's rained. Nice little skyhooks, too. I maneuvered like an imaginary legend and rolled a dreamshake out, even. Ian came over and we began to compete. The perspiration came hard and fast like a two ton horse to a finish line. We were both fatigued from drinking and lack of sleep. Hunger as well. The game went on and on like a preacher, though. We played to five by ones and the game seemed to last for sculpted eternities. I won. Of course I won. I am the best. Then I took the basketball back to the man who had retired to his living room. His wife(assumedly) was vacuuming and I handed it to her with a profound and dazzle-eyed THANK YOU that God might have felt in his belly button. It was that true. The man was named Luke and he told me to come by again sometime and play with his kids. "I have big kids. They're big kids." He was completely genuine and I made vows in my heart and brain to go back to trounce his children. I'll probably bring popsicles, too. Something like that. I want for them to enjoy me even though I'm going to defeat them. We continued then along the thinning blotch of a road until finally Ian noted that if we cut through the woods to our direct right and hopped out on the railroad track path inside of those same woods, we could get downtown in much less time. I was all for it, although I was wearing shorts and a borrowed tee shirt that had more holes in it than "logical arguments" have had to me lately. (logical arguments are beginning to seem inane to me, by the way. It occurs to me frequently as of late that the only purportion that can make sense in my life is that no purportion is sensical. All sense is senseless. Except for the sense in wanting to eat. I think eating is sensical.) I bounded down the steep yet small cliff easily thinking to myself as I always do of billy goats and Spider-Man, swinging on a fallen tree and landing on two feet with my hands to balance smoothly. Ian didn't make it so well. He struggled, slipped, crumbled dirt beneathe his feet, got his shirt stuck on a limb, and finally collapsed down. Then he took off his shirt saying "I'm gonna show off my fat-assed body now." I just laughed and told him that he looked "magnetic." He laughed, too. We walked along those ANTEDILUVIAN(not literally) tracks and thought about how amazing they are. Throwbacks to another age and yet still "logically acceptable" in todays maniacal world. They can still serve as great of a purpose as Microsoft. (I'm laughing and winking) He said one of the funniest things that I have ever heard in my life on that decrepit railroad track. "I live my life without regrets and regret it everyday." I thought that he was so amazing right then. Told him that he had the soul of a movie star and he liked that a lot, I could tell. Finally downtown became Here and everything else became There. Ian bought a fountain Cherry Coke for me at the Den since I had no money and we walked around blathering joyous chirpety bird nonsensicalities to each other whilst sipping on those equanamitous Cherry Cokes. We clung to each other's free spirits and when reality knocked, we hid under the mattress. (Meredith keeps yawning strangely. It frightens me and reminds me of 'Alien') Then Ian ran into Jimmy John's and bought a long thin magnificent loaf of spectacular bread. Sitting on a green backless bench, we ate that bread. I stood atop the bench and shouted out phrases to somnifacient passers-by and some offered smiles. I had picked flowers by the railroad tracks and had one behind my ear. It was a sunflower. I gave the remaining three away to various anonymous girls on the street. They all loved me for what you might refer to as an "eternal instant". It's entirely feasible that I may have just imagined the latter, though. A girl wearing a shirt that read 'Alkaline Trio' stopped where I was standing now beside the bench on the ground and asked if she could take a picture of me. I said "yes", focused upon her beltbuckle and felt happy so smiled. Noone mentioned the word "cheese" and this pleased me to no end. A girl walked across the street to our side with two older women and one older man. She was getting into one of those hip PT Cruisers and one of the older women made a comment about it "looking like a gangster car." I overheard and said something like, "yeah, watch out for those Tommy guns" and made sweeping gestures with an imaginary machine gun. They laughed and the old man stepping into the backseat said "ha ha ha" in a sarcastic way. I just laughed and looked at him and then he smiled at me adding "yee-haw." Ian and I were ecstatic with that scene and that street and that whole chunk of dripping life. It was wonderful that morning, and the most far-fetched aspect of this account(in my mind) is that at this point, it was only about 10 pm. The day had only just begun and already I had experienced multiple epiphany moments. Could I possibly take any more hits? My psyche was already riddled with the bullet holes of incessantly fired joys and yet I walked on to, of all places, a coffee shop. Soma Coffee House. We originally walked there because I saw a girl with pink hair that I wanted to see more closely. I shouted, "Hey! Look, Ian! A cute girl! I dare you to go talk to her!" --"okay", says Ian. We ran over and it turned out to be Jillian, a friend of mine and we shared our bread with her. Jillian just might be Andrew's girlfriend, but who knows with that guy. He's such a sweet little ladies man and noone even minds it he's such a geeky warrior of Cool. We talked for minutes that were good and right now I'm thinking of little bells ringing in the clouds. That's RIGHT NOW. Not at that moment. It's just that reminiscing on that moment makes a feeling of bells in clouds come over me. It means nothing and at the same time, it probably means everything. (I feel like such a hippie)
Subsequently, both Jillian and Ian left, leaving me alone with these three ladies that I was sitting with at an outside table. I knew one of them to be a girl named Jada. She's from the open-mic sessions that I read at and the first night I read and screamed like a stab-wounded donkey into the microphone, she approached me and told me that she loved that poem. It had pieces in about my family and how certain members parallel certain Beatles songs. That punctuated by the donkey screams. I eventually gave her that poem to which I had no copies. She has the only one in existence! (dun dunnn dunnnnnnnnn) I sat there with she and some of her friends and told them about fighting. I had this fighting feeling. A feeling that fighting is extremely sexy. "There's something so incredibly sexy about fighting. It's so rough, as other things can sometimes be. Know what I mean?" I don't know what had gotten into me, or for that matter, what HAS gotten into me recently. I'm feeling so sexy all of the time and I see cartoon women flying naked throughout the air and they if I think on it long and hard enough, they always end up having Meredith's face, no matter who I'm picturing. It's so strange and exciting for me. The girls all just laughed and called me crazy, which people are prone to do around these here parts. I continued and then two girls came up and asked if they could take pictures of me. I swear to God! I know how intensely this may seem to be a lie, but it is not. Two girls asked if they could take pictures of me and they told me to just act normal and keep talking as I had been. Doing what they told me to, I told a story about almost purposely severing fingers when I was sixteen just because I was so bored. When they were leaving, I asked if I could come too and they said I could. Bid farewell to Jada and her friends and then we ran off seeking beauty in all forms. We shambled down the sidewalks like magnifying glasses with souls and they took pictures of whatever I pointed out to them. A picture of a Mountain Dew can, empty and betrayed to an existence of garbage can wakeup calls. One of a squirrel pondering the meaning of Life, I supposed. So many wonderful pictures. Then they walked into Athena and began to take pictures of rocks and I grew INCREDIBLY bored. The day outside was lovely so I walked out into it and fell immediately to sleep upon a green plastic bench.

This is the end of Part One.

 

 

© Copyright 2007 Dennis Ray Powell, Jr.  All Rights Reserved